By Jonathan H. Westover, PhD
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Abstract: This article discusses best practices for respectfully declining premature promotions into management roles as a consultant or academic, in order to avoid sabotaging one's career or damaging relationships. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection to understand one's skills and interests before committing, and encourages politely but firmly communicating priorities and boundaries. Specific techniques are presented, such as expressing gratitude for the confidence in one's abilities while reinforcing current focus on individual work. Offering compromises like trial periods can demonstrate continued commitment while avoiding premature transitions. Validating others' perspectives and emphasizing shared goals helps smooth potential hurt feelings. The article notes the importance of providing thoughtful rationale, validating concerns, proposing alternatives, and focusing on mutual benefit over the long run. Earlier missteps are contrasted with refined approaches developed through situations navigated over time. The conclusion stresses how even difficult conversations can strengthen dynamics when both self-interests and the relationship are kept in mind, with a solution-oriented focus on constructive exchange and partnership beyond any individual opportunity. Overall, the article presents concrete methods for declining roles respectfully while preserving professional integrity and valuable working relationships.
As consultants and academics, we've all been there - racking our brains trying to think of a polite yet firm way to turn down a exciting yet untimely promotion into management. While the prestige and salary bump may seem enticing on the surface, diving head-first into a managerial role before you're truly ready could sabotage your career trajectory and damage your reputation in the long run. As someone who's declined their fair share of premature management offers over the years, both in industry and academia, I've learned a thing or two about how to respectfully yet resolutely ensure your career stays on the consultant's path.
Today we will explore how to thoughtfully yet tactfully say "no" when it's really not the right time to take the managerial leap.
Knowing When You're Really Ready
The first step is being brutally honest with yourself about your own skills, strengths, and aptitudes (Mintzberg, 1975; Boyatzis, 1982). Are you someone who genuinely thrives on people leadership, mentoring junior colleagues, and shoulder-bearing organizational responsibility? Or do you prefer focusing laser-like on high-impact projects and value adding through individual expertise (Goffee & Scase, 2015)? It's okay if you're more of the latter - not everyone is cut out for management, and that's perfectly fine. Forcing oneself into a premature managerial role risks burnout and headaches that could have been avoided (Cullen et al., 2014). Take the time to do some serious self-reflection on your motivations, talents, and where you can create the most value before committing to swapping your consulting hat for a manager's (Dweck, 2006; DeRue & Wellman, 2009).
Expressing Gratitude While Reiterating Your Focus
Once you've determined now isn't the right time, the next step is to politely yet firmly decline the offer. Express profuse gratitude for the vote of confidence while reinforcing your current focus and priorities (Gino & Pierce, 2009; Flynn & Brockner, 2003). For example, you could say something like:
"Thank you so much for considering me for this role - it means a lot to know my contributions are being recognized in this way. However, at this stage in my career, my top priority remains honing my expertise in [relevant field] and continuing to deliver the highest value I can through hands-on clientwork and projects. While management may be in my future goals, for now I believe I can create the most impact by maintaining my current focus. I hope you understand my decision and continue to support me in maximizing my contributions as a consultant."
Reiterating your dedication to creating impact in your current position while expressing gratitude goes a long way in ensuring your declining of the offer doesn't come across as dismissive or unappreciative. It shows continued commitment to the organization or client while establishing healthy boundaries around your career trajectory (Williams, 2007; Ashforth et al., 2008).
Suggesting a Trial Period or Future Reconsideration
To further smooth things over, proposing alternatives can demonstrate continued willingness to take on increased responsibilities down the line (Groysberg & Slind, 2012b). For instance, you might suggest:
"While I'm not ready to fully transition into management now, I'd be open to taking on a trial managerial project to get my feet wet and see how I like it. Or perhaps in 6-12 months as I gain more experience, I'll feel ready to seriously consider the role on a permanent basis. In the meantime, please continue sharing management challenges with me - I aim to continue learning and preparing myself for future leadership opportunities."
Offering compromise in this way shows you're thinking long-term about career growth without fully committing prematurely. It maintains an air of future consideration and keeps the door open for reassessment down the road (Groysberg & Slind, 2012a).
Empathizing with Their Perspective
Another helpful tactic is to acknowledge the needs and motivations likely driving the other party's perspective as well. For instance, a manager may be hoping to fill a vacancy and see your potential, or a client may be seeking proven leadership for an upcoming project. Empathizing with these realities, while still holding your ground, can smooth potential hurt feelings (Goleman, 2006). You might say:
"I'm sure from your vantage point, having a seasoned consultant like myself take on more of a leadership role makes perfect sense. And I understand the importance of having the right person to helm this new initiative. However, at this stage, I believe my individual expertise can be best applied elsewhere. Perhaps together we could identify other strong candidates within or outside the organization who may be a better fit based on their current experience set and career goals."
Validating the other perspective shows you understand their viewpoint, even if you can't fully align with it yourself. It keeps lines of communication open for future discussion and problem-solving (Sull et al., 2015).
Focusing on the Relationship and Mutual Goals
Throughout the conversation, continuing to pivot back to your shared goals, interests and positive working relationship can smooth over any hurt or bruised egos from declining an offer (Bolino et al., 2008). Expressing how much you value collaborating together into the future helps maintain goodwill on both sides:
"Please know that this in no way impacts how highly I regard our work together or partnership. I hope very much that we can continue finding innovative ways to solve clients' and the organization's most pressing challenges. My priority remains adding maximum value however I can, and I believe that for now means staying focused on deploying my consulting expertise hands-on. Thank you for understanding - I look forward to our ongoing collaboration and partnership for many years to come."
Keeping the larger relationship paramount through reassuring, solution-focused language minimizes potential damage from saying "no", preserving good working dynamics all around (Shore et al., 2006; Shore et al., 2009).
Learning from Past Experience
As someone who's navigated more than my fair share of delicate "no" conversations over the years, both in industry and academia, I’ve picked up some valuable lessons. Early in my consulting career when I turned down my first management offer, I merely stated I wasn’t interested without providing further context. Not surprisingly, it did not go over very smoothly and bruised some egos. However, with experience I learned the importance of thoughtfully explaining rationale, emphasizing continued commitment, validating other perspectives and focusing on mutual goals - all while maintaining a polite yet resolute tone. These techniques served me well when later declining a premature promotion into an industry leadership role I wasn’t fully prepared for, allowing me to concentrate on delivering specialist expertise through advisory projects.
Similarly, in academia declining an associate dean role early in my faculty career could have damaged relationships if not handled with tact. Instead, proposing a targeted task force to explore specific initiatives helped demonstrate ongoing dedication while sidestepping a full administrative load. Over time, learning to express boundaries while preserving goodwill and collaboration opportunities has been invaluable - both in saying no to things I wasn’t ready for, and gaining support when wanting to fully commit later as skills developed. With experience comes the ability to thoughtfully communicate in a way that serves both self-interests and the relationship, even during difficult conversations. My hope is these tried and true techniques help others navigate delicate situations with equal care, empathy and efficacy.
Conclusion
Learning to respectfully say "no" is an invaluable career skill - both for your own professional growth and development, and the preservation of valued partnerships and working relationships. While managers and clients will not always be pleased to hear it, approaching these conversations from a standpoint of empathy, compromise, solution-focus and mutual benefit goes miles towards smoothing over what could otherwise be an awkward interaction. With experience, consultants and academics develop refined techniques to thoughtfully yet firmly communicate our considerations, priorities and availability in a way that benefits all parties involved over the long run. By maintaining a focus on constructive exchange, shared goals and the bigger picture beyond any individual opportunity, even difficult conversations can strengthen rather than strain important professional dynamics.
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Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). When Saying "No" is the Right Choice: Tactfully Declining Managerial Promotions. Human Capital Leadership Review, 13(1). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.13.1.2
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