By Jonathan H. Westover, PhD
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Abstract: This article discusses how seemingly small, everyday social habits and interactions can significantly impact workplace relationships and organizational effectiveness. It explores research on relationship-building behaviors like making eye contact, smiling, saying thank you, asking questions, providing feedback, listening without judgment, self-disclosure, and celebrating wins together. The article argues that while larger cultural factors are important, minor modifications to interpersonal manners, such as consciously engaging in these positive social behaviors, can quietly foster resilient bonds between colleagues. Case studies from various industries are presented to illustrate how strategically cultivated habits delivering appreciation, empathy and care into daily exchanges strengthen collaborative relationships. The article concludes that true organizational transformation starts from nurturing connections through mindfully modified social exchanges, as these small gestures collectively create the type of supportive work environment where people feel valued and initiatives can succeed.
As consultants and leaders, we're acutely aware that the success or failure of any initiative often hinges on the quality of relationships. We've all experienced the power of positive connections to improve morale, enhance communication and enable change. Likewise, we've witnessed how toxic dynamics undermine even well-crafted strategies.
While big gestures and overarching cultures warrant consideration, it's the seemingly small, everyday actions that can quietly nurture or negligently neglect important bonds. In my work with organizations worldwide, I've found that minor modifications to our typical manners and modes can significantly impact how people interact and interconnect and, subsequently, how effectively they team.
Today we will explore some of the tiny habits that strengthen workplace relationships, supported by research on organizational behavior.
Make Eye Contact and Smile
One of the simplest yet most powerful behaviors is attentive eye contact coupled with a friendly smile. Studies show these small social signals send meaningful messages of care, concern and connection (Guéguen & De Gail, 2003).
Eye contact indicates active listening and interest in others. It tells the brain to pay attention and release feel-good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin (Kohut, 2011). Meanwhile, the upward turn of lips communicates positivity, openness and goodwill (Hess et al., 1999).
I've seen the impact firsthand in a major tech company where introverted engineers struggled to collaborate. By making a conscious effort to look colleagues in the eyes and smile when conversing, even nominal exchanges grew considerably warmer over time. Moods lifted, understanding blossomed.
For remote workers especially, a video call with visible faces can substitute some of the social information lost without physical proximity (Risko et al, 2016). Those little expressions of care carry through the digital divide.
Say Thank You Sincerely
Gratitude has measurable organizational perks beyond simply being polite. Expressing thanks promotes prosocial behaviors like respect, loyalty and cooperation (Bartlett & DeSteno, 2006). It also boosts well-being, counteracting stress while uplifting spirits (Algoe, 2012).
At a global logistics firm grappling with high turnover, leaders encouraged team members to actively acknowledge even the tiniest assists from others. Recording short video messages of appreciation or handwritten notes left on desks created a contagious culture of kindness. Morale measurably lifted as people felt genuinely valued for their efforts.
My advice is to vary your tones of thanks – from enthusiastic cheers to soft smiles – matching the moment. And make eye contact to ensure sincerity is sensed. These small gestures, when sincere, foster goodwill that lifts both giver and receiver (Grant & Gino, 2010).
Ask Questions That Foster Understanding
Curiosity breeds connection. Asking open questions demonstrates active interest in others while inviting engagement and storytelling. Such dialogues facilitate insight into diverse viewpoints and build empathy (Long & Driscoll, 2015).
For instance, at a global charity, interviewing remote volunteers revealed feelings of disconnectedness from headquarters. To bring people closer virtually, leaders initiated optional weekly video calls where three different colleagues were "featured" and encouraged to discuss anything from hobbies to challenges.
Questions like "What inspired you to pursue this work?" or "How are you finding your role so far?" sparked lively yet intimate exchanges promoting psychosocial support and a stronger shared identity (Ashforth et al, 2008). Participation soared as relationships strengthened through vulnerability and understanding across borders.
Provide Feedback with Compassion
Criticism, even when well-intentioned, risks damaging rapport if conveyed insensitively. But constructive feedback, with empathy and care, can help people grow while deepening trust in the process (Stone & Heen, 2014).
At a manufacturing plant where raises were performance-based, mandatory annual reviews bred anxiety and defensiveness hindering improvement. Leaders reframed by focusing first on appreciation, listening without judgment, then co-creating achievable development goals.
Staff willingly accepted guidance when feelings were validated and growth framed as a team effort rather than individual judgment. Camaraderie replaced competitive tension as performance lifted through a shared spirit of learning (Porath et al., 2011).
When providing criticism, avoid absolutes, maintain eye contact with a concerned look and keep language neutral yet motivating. Focus on behavior, not character, to prevent bruised egos from blocking progress (Grenny et al., 2013). Handle even difficult discussions with compassion to nourish resilient relationships.
Listen Without Assumptions
So often conversations go awry when we make premature judgments instead of seeking full understanding. Yet suspending preconceptions to truly hear out others with an open mind develops deeper bonds of trust (Morrison, 2014).
At an educational nonprofit rife with internal politicking undermining collaboration, I witnessed how faulty assumptions festered conflict. Leaders led by example, consciously pausing to clarify before reacting and reflecting others' perspective back neutrally to confirm comprehension.
A culture of inquisitive listening gradually replaced quarrelsome reactivity as people felt truly heard without prejudice. Clear channels opened for productive problem-solving over petty blaming (Cohen et al, 1972). Minor modifications in approach can upend dysfunctional dynamics.
We’ve all been in conversations where the other person clearly stopped listening to rebut. Instead, make intent eye contact, mirror back what you heard to confirm, then ask respectful questions rather than accusations to deepen understanding from multiple viewpoints.
Share Self to Strengthen Interpersonal Bonds
Self-disclosure, in balanced measure, humanizes our presence by revealing shared experiences (Collins & Miller, 1994). Yet over-sharing risks making others uncomfortable. The key is strategically revealing just enough authenticity to establish psychological proximity and similarity without overpowering dialogues with our issues (Laurenceau et al., 1998).
For employees telecommuting due to the pandemic, a major airline created optional weekly video catchups where 3-4 colleagues were spotlighted and invited to briefly discuss anything from hobbies to challenges confronting isolation.
Casual chats cultivated supportive bonds across teams as people connected through gentle vulnerability around shared hopes, fears and interests beyond work titles or roles (Sluss & Ashforth, 2007). Productivity rose as remote staff felt less alone facing mutual hardships.
While guarding privacy, we can disclose selective details from our lives outside of work to help others feel psychologically close through realizing our mutual humanity beyond professional facades (Hornstein, 1976). Too little proximity risks keeping people at a distance.
Celebrate Team Wins Together
Positive reinforcement strengthens desirable behaviors by making efforts feel worthwhile (Jenkins et al., 1978). Yet usually we acknowledge accomplishments through cursory thanks and quickly move onto the next problem. Creating space for sincere celebration is a simple means of emotionally nourishing relationships (Cialdini, 2001).
At an insurance startup undergoing growing pains, I witnessed high potentials feeling demoralized by endless criticism without reinforcement. Leaders began allocating 15 minutes at weekly check-ins solely to holistically recognize progress – from partners secured to processes streamlined – through rounds of virtual applause.
Morale visibly lifted as hard work felt sufficiently spotlighted and staff left energized, not drained. Productivity rose along with retention rates as intrinsic joys of collaborating were remembered (Judge & Ilies, 2004). We easily forget to nourish associated feelings contributing to cooperation and cohesion (Anderson & Martin, 1995).
Even small victories deserve acknowledgement to help people feel pride in their collaborative efforts. Set aside time for sincere, inclusive celebrations recognizing diverse contributions rather than single heroes (Levine & Moreland, 1990).
Say Hello and Goodbye Thoughtfully
Our fleeting greetings and departures shape daily impressions that accumulate into our broader attachment. Yet we hurry through these transition points carelessly on autopilot (Jordan et al, 2011). Making a conscious effort to engage positively pays off in the form of buoyant spirits and upbeat expectations for future collaborations (Suh, 2002).
At a manufacturing plant grappling with interdepartmental tension, team leaders began visibly greeting workers from other areas by name with warm smiles upon passing in corridors. Departing interactions also involved quick check-ins about families or weekends.
Notably, competitive edge dissolved as people felt recognized and cared for on a human level beyond work roles each time paths crossed. Territorial divisions peacefully gave way to a more integrated social community (Milroy, 1980). These brief bonds truly add up in creating an inclusive whole.
Next time the workday begins or ends, shift autopilot to attentive presence with sincere eye contact and personal acknowledgements however brief. Uplift the spirits of colleagues even in fleeting exchanges with concern and care.
Conclusion
As leaders and consultants, we aim to move organizations forward through big vision and impactful strategies. Yet the finest initiatives may falter without attention to interpersonal underpinnings. Research consistently shows relationships form the connective tissues enabling – or obstructing – cooperative progress.
While external circumstances pose challenges, the quotidian choices shaping internal dynamics remain very much within our control. Through mindfully cultivated habits delivering appreciation, empathy and care into daily exchanges, we can quietly foster the type of resilient bonds that weather turbulence and triumphs as a united front.
True transformation starts from the inside through seemingly inconsequential yet profoundly impactful modifications to our typical exchanges and expressiveness. I hope the ideas explored here provide a reminder of our power to strengthen organizational relationships one small gesture at a time. Our workplaces become what we collectively make of each encounter through consciously nurturing our countless connections.
References
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Ashforth, B. E., Kreiner, G. E., & Fugate, M. (2000). All in a day's work: Boundaries and micro role transitions. Academy of Management Review, 25(3), 472–491. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2000.3363315
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Grant, A. M., & Gino, F. (2010). A little thanks goes a long way: Explaining why gratitude expressions motivate prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(6), 946–955. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017935
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Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). The Tiny Habits that Strengthen Organizational Relationships. Human Capital Leadership Review, 13(1). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.13.1.4
