A lot of leadership development focuses on building self-awareness of the leader you are, understanding what a successful leader could or should look like, and how you can bridge the gap. Those are all valuable, and there's a key piece missing. The question of who you want to be as a leader.
Defining who you want to be as a leader is an essential step towards great leadership. A clear personal vision enables you to understand the gap between the leader you are and the leader you aspire to become. And, it provides a compass bearing to guide your everyday decisions, actions, and interactions.
However, there are several common pitfalls you may encounter when defining the type of leader you aspire to be. In this article, I will explore three pitfalls that risk derailing the effectiveness of your leadership identity.
Fixing your faults
The first pitfall is that you try to fix your faults. When you begin reflecting on your current qualities as a leader, versus who you aspire to be, it can quickly turn into an attempt to address a laundry list of all the things wrong with you – all the things you don’t like about yourself. All the things you’ve ever done wrong. All the times you have ever felt stupid. All the things you feel ashamed about.
When we’re in that mindset, the vision of leadership that emerges is something that fixes all those things. If we feel anxious, our vision is of a confident leader. If we are unhappy, our vision is of a happy leader. If we get angry easily, our vision is of a calm leader. It’s not to say some of these aren’t things to work on, but when we relate to ourselves as somehow broken, any work we do to try to ‘fix’ those things simply reinforces that there is actually something wrong with us in the first place.
There isn’t. There is nothing wrong with you.
Trying to be the leader you ‘should’ be
The second trap we can fall into is trying to fit into the model of an ideal, even perfect, leader. Where we have in our heads, some vision of what we ‘should’ be like, and then try to achieve that, whether or not it is what we truly want or even anything like who we are.
People can smell inauthenticity. If you’re constantly in some version of a performance of what you think you should be as a leader, it might work for a while. However, eventually people around you will see through the performance, or simply become confused by it. They will sense you’re trying to be something you aren’t. And for you? It’s exhausting. The effort required to try to be something that fundamentally isn’t you is enormous. It also requires Oscar-worthy levels of acting, day in and day out; some-thing that you probably aren’t capable of.
So, however you define the leader you want to be, make sure it is authentic to who you are. Yes, the word authentic is often overused - yet your leadership vision will be most effective when it is an adjusted and improved version of who you already are, not a wholesale reinvention.
Because there is no ‘right’ way. Which means that equally there is no ‘wrong’ way – you don’t need to try and be something or someone you aren’t. The most powerful version of you as a leader will be the most authentic version*1 In other words, the version that’s true to your values and beliefs, the version that you can be consistently and congruently across all the areas you work, lead and live.
Forgetting the need to flex
There’s another inherent risk in defining any kind of model of leadership, even one that is tailored specifically for you: it can suggest a rigidity that doesn’t actually exist.
Leadership, including all the micro-interactions - what I call the hundreds of small moments of interaction we have with other people every day - we have as we lead, is intrinsically dynamic. We can’t predict what each moment will bring, or what will happen next, so we have to be agile and flexible enough to respond in the moment. And respond effectively.
Good leaders learn to read situations: what is happening, what are the risks, what are the options? They consider who is present, what might they want or need, who isn’t present, and who needs to get involved to move something forward? Good leaders can rapidly appraise situations, weigh up the different factors, and come to a decision. It’s all important, but it’s missing something.
To become a great, even inspirational, leader takes being able to read a layer deeper. It requires developing the ability to ‘sniff out the signals in the environment and sense what’s going on without having anything spelled out’. Such leaders can sense changes in energy, shifts in relationships, changes in the mood of the room. They can pick up on the information not directed at them or notice what isn’t being said. They can read subtle, non-verbal cues: in short, they are good situation sensors.
Developing your sensing skills
Becoming a good sensor is about learning to tune in to and listen to your instincts, and it is a skill that can be learned. Franz Humer, the former CEO of Roche, describes how he developed the skill working as a tour guide through his twenties. Paid only through tips, he said: ‘Pretty soon, I knew how to hone in on particular [tour] groups. Eventually, I could predict within 10% how much I could earn from any particular group’. He learnt to sense unexpressed feelings, and gauge how well a relationship was working; and through that, how much they were likely to tip.
You can start to hone your sensing through dialing your awareness right up, and noticing the nuances of your micro-interactions with others. Pauses, intakes of breath, how someone phrases something, the tone of their voice, where they are looking – these are all little cues. Be curious about these, asking yourself: ‘I wonder what that was?’ ‘I wonder why they did that?’ In fact, it is essential that the skill of sensing is paired with a mindset of curiosity, so that your instincts can be tested, and either confirmed or refined. Just because you have noticed something going on, doesn’t mean you know exactly what that is.
Bringing your leadership vision to life
To see how your vision and sensing sit together, try thinking of it this way. Imagine you were going for a hike up a mountain. You would want to plan the route and have a map and compass with you (and know how to use them!). But that would only get you so far. You would also need to sense what’s happening with you and your surroundings. How secure does the terrain feel under your feet? Is the wind getting up, or are the clouds coming in? How are your walking companions doing? Are you warm enough? Do you need to refuel, or drink some water?
Your leadership vision is like the map and compass. It helps you understand where you’re trying to get to, and how to get there. But without staying switched on, and sensing everything else going on, you would potentially find yourself in all sorts of trouble.
As you define the vision of the leader you want to be, and begin to apply it in the way you live and work, remember that your goal is not to fix your ‘faults’ as a leader, or become the perfect version of a leader. To become a great leader you need to learn to hold true to your leadership vision and adapt and flex to your situation. This will build trust and engagement with your team, while still ensuring you deliver results whatever the circumstances.
Related Resources
Gavin, Matt. ‘Authentic leadership: What it is and why it’s important’. Harvard Business School Online – Business Insights Blog, 10 Dec. 2019. Available at https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/authentic-leadership
Goffee, Robert, and Jones, Gareth. ‘Why should anyone be led by you?’. Harvard Business Review, Sept./Oct. 2000. Available at https://hbr.org/2000/09/why-should-anyone-be-led-by-you
Sarah Langslow is an executive coach and leadership development specialist. She integrates leadership lessons from a sporting career as a rower, including competing twice in the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race, a 15-year corporate career across management consulting and finance, and experience as an entrepreneur with her own coaching and leadership development business. Sarah has an MA and an MBA from the University of Cambridge and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach. Sarah’s new best-selling book “Do Sweat the Small Stuff” illuminates the often unrecognized power of micro-interactions to supercharge leadership effectiveness and people development.
