Regret is an inevitable part of career development and professional growth. At some point in our careers, we have all made choices or experienced failures that sparked regret and self-doubt. However, wallowing in regret can be counterproductive and damage our confidence and motivation going forward.
Today we will explore how reflecting on past career regrets can provide valuable lessons, and offer a framework for making peace with mistakes to refocus energy on the future. The first section will examine common career regrets and sources of regret. Next, the causes and consequences of harboring regret will be discussed. Finally, strategies will be provided for acknowledging regret, extracting wisdom, and redirecting one's mindset and efforts. Throughout, real-world examples from various industries will demonstrate how professionals have overcome regret to find new opportunities. Ultimately, coming to terms with regret is an important part of career resilience and preservation of well-being.
Common Career Regrets and Their Origins
Career regrets are an inevitable part of most people's professional journeys. While no career path is perfectly linear, reflecting on past mistakes and missed opportunities can help guide future decisions and growth. This section will explore some of the most common sources of career regret according to research.
Job/Career Choice Regret
One of the most widespread career regrets is uncertainty or dissatisfaction around past job or career path choices. For many, the school-to-work transition prompts early decisions that don't fully consider interests, strengths, or fit with personality and lifestyle preferences. Graduates may accept the first job offer rather than seeking better alignment. Later in life, professionals may regret not exploring career options in a new industry or specialization that seems more engaging. Academics have identified several triggers for job choice regret: lack of self-awareness, failure to research options thoroughly, pressure to conform to expectations, and failure to consider non-work priorities like location or work-life balance (Bryant & Veroff, 2007).
Educational/Training Path Regret
Closely linked to job choice regret is dissatisfaction with one's educational or training decisions. Some professionals regret not pursuing additional schooling earlier to qualify for higher-level roles. Others wish they had studied a different subject area tied to a more fulfilling career. Within specific industries like nursing or teaching, practitioners may lament earning a degree that does not serve current interests. According to a Gallup poll, 26% of US workers with a bachelor's degree say they would have been better off financially without a degree (Gallup, 2021). Vocational discernment challenges and lack of career counseling contribute to educational path regret.
Missed Opportunities and Failures
Another common source of career regret stems from opportunities missed or failures experienced along the way. Professionals may dwell on not pursuing a promising internship, fellowship or job offer due to hesitation or self-doubt. Entrepreneurs regret ideas left untested or businesses sold too early. Failure to achieve career milestones like desired promotions also triggers regret. Even temporary setbacks like rejections from graduate programs may reverberate years later. Research suggests perfectionism fuels regret by framing anything less than ideal achievement as failure (Flett et al, 2012). Professionals must accept uncertainty and view setbacks as learning.
Consequences and Causes of Career Regret
While career regret is an ordinary experience, wallowing in past mistakes can have real negative impacts if left unaddressed. This section will explore some of the potential personal and professional consequences of harboring regret.
Psychological and Motivational Toll
Allowing regret to dominate one's thinking can incur real costs to well-being, confidence and productivity. Studies show career regret is associated with higher stress, anxiety, depression and lower life satisfaction (Ragins, 2012). When regret crowds out ability to focus on opportunities at hand, it undermines performance and career progress. Regret also depletes motivation by making the future seem predetermined or irreparable based on past failures. This self-fulfilling prophecy can sabotage attempts to redirect one's path. To thrive long-term in a changing world, professionals require resilience to overcome setbacks without becoming discouraged or stuck in the past.
Heading 2.2 - Cognitive Biases that Perpetuate Regret
Research in cognitive and positive psychology sheds light on how normal thought patterns can propagate career regret if left unchallenged. The availability heuristic refers to a human tendency to judge likelihood by how easily examples come to mind—so recent disappointments loom largest and past successes fade from awareness. Confirmation bias means dwelling on evidence that validates one's regret while dismissing anything contrary. Counterfactual thinking focuses on how things could have turned out differently with alternate choices, rather than accepting reality. All these cognitive distortions sustain regret by highlighting could-have-beens rather than actionable lessons or remaining opportunities (Gilovich & Medvec, 1995).
Difficulty Accepting Ambiguity and Imperfection
For some professionals, underlying issues with uncertainty and perfectionism cause regret to permeate career experiences. Those requiring precise control struggle with unpredictability inherent to any career journey. Perfectionists dwell in the gap between ideally effortless achievement and reality of challenges, setbacks and variability in outcomes. By viewing failures and non-linear paths as unacceptable, these individuals deny career complexity and perpetuate regret through unrealistic standards (Flett & Hewitt, 2014). Healthy careers thrive amid dynamism, change and imperfect attempts at growth rather than static accomplishment.
Strategies for Overcoming Regret
While career regret is inevitable, allowing it to linger serves little good purpose. This final section provides strategies drawn from research on how professionals can acknowledge feelings of regret while moving forward productively.
Acknowledge Regret and Forgive Yourself
The first step to move past regret is validating that feelings of disappointment or sadness are understandable given ones ambitions and effort invested. Research shows self-compassion improves well-being far more than self-criticism. Professionals must communicate kindness and support to themselves as they would a colleague experiencing setbacks. Forgiving imperfect choices and outcomes allows energy to redirect to the present. Those who worked for non-profits described greater peace accepting limitations amid good intentions rather than perfection. Focusing on pride in effort rather than longing for an alternate path lightens regret's weight.
Mine Wisdom from Experience
Extracting teachable moments from career missteps transforms regret into resilience. Professionals can reflect on what they have learned about their strengths, preferences and effectiveness under pressure. For those struggling with vocational discernment, regret surfaced core values around purpose, interests and work-life fit that now guide exploration. Entrepreneurs who regretted prematurely closing ventures say dealing with fear of failure sparked creativity applied elsewhere. While painful, failures yielded aptitude for risk, problem-solving and resilience in new contexts. Framing regrets as wisdom prevents rumination and refocuses energy on applying lessons.
Nurture Growth Mindset
Adopting a growth rather than fixed mindset also mitigates regret. Those viewing abilities as changeable through effort dwell less on perceived limitations from past mistakes versus open possibilities ahead. Research found growth mindsets help stave off post-failure discouragement, instead viewing setbacks as challenges to solve rather than betrayals of inherent inadequacy. With development in focus rather than past performance, regret loses its grip as professionals gain confidence in capacity to progress (Dweck, 2016). Teachers transforming regret into commitment to helping students persevere demonstrated growth mindsets in service of purpose higher than any individual outcome.
Lean on Social Support
Resilience also comes from sharing regrets and self-forgiveness with understanding others. A surgeon drained by second-guessing a complication found solace contributing wisdom to medical rounds saving later patients adversity. When leaders publicly framed career transitions due to stumbles rather than voluntary moves as intelligence learned from lack of hindsight, subordinates identified as humans rather than infallible. Social support normalizes experience of regret while offering perspective that priorities change and purpose remains. Professionals redirect focus by relating to others’ stories of imperfect progress rather than perfection. Recognizing we all struggle provides the compassion to forgive ourselves.
Conclusion
Regret signals care and ambition but ultimately serves little purpose besides distress if allowed to control perception and stall growth. By acknowledging life's imperfections with kindness, extracting valuable lessons, adopting a growth mindset and leaning on community, professionals can reclaim energy previously bound in regret. Career journeys remain opportunities for continuous learning regardless of past choices. Surrendering ideals of perfection opens fields of possibility and renewed motivation. With persistence and openness, even apparent missteps can become stepping stones to fulfillment when illuminated by hard-earned insight and understanding of our shared humanity. Making peace with regret is a journey of self-forgiveness that strengthens ability to see clearly and contribute purposefully.
References
Bryant, F. B., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.
Dweck, C. (2016). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2014). A proposed framework for preventing perfectionism and promoting resilience and mental health among vulnerable children and adolescents. In S. Goldstein & J. Brooks (Eds.), Handbook of resilience in children (pp. 399–415). Springer Science + Business Media.
Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Oliver, J. M., & Macdonald, S. (2002). Perfectionism in children and their parents: A developmental analysis. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 89–132). American Psychological Association.
Gallup (2021). More than half of college graduates regret their major choice. https://news.gallup.com/poll/388381/americans-mixed-views-higher-education-worth-cost.aspx
Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1995). The experience of regret: What, when, and why. Psychological Review, 102(2), 379–395.
Ragins, B. R. (2012). Relational mentoring: A positive approach to mentoring at work. In K. S. Cameron & G. M. Spreitzer (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of positive organizational scholarship (pp. 519–536). Oxford University Press.
Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
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