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Abstract: This article explores the research behind effective coaching methods and provides examples for how leaders can apply these techniques to better develop others. It examines the key tools of great coaches: asking thoughtful open-ended questions, actively listening without judgment, and connecting through empathy. The piece outlines research demonstrating how open questions promote deeper reflection compared to closed ones. Coaches strategically use inquiry to help coachees gain self-awareness and new perspectives. Examples of powerful questions are provided. Additionally, the article discusses how active listening, such as paraphrasing and mirroring, builds rapport and surfaces insights. Empathy is identified as the top competency of elite coaches, as it validates emotions and fosters intrinsic motivation. Specific leadership applications are given for healthcare, technology, and education to illustrate how questioning, listening, and empathy can accelerate growth across industries when developing employees.
Great coaches understand that their most powerful tools are inquiry, active listening, and empathy. By asking thoughtful questions, carefully listening to understand others' perspectives, and connecting on a human level, coaches can truly help individuals and teams reach their highest potential.
Today we will explore the research behind these coaching methods and provides practical examples of how leaders in various industries can apply them to develop others more effectively.
Asking Powerful Questions
Effective questioning is a cornerstone of strong coaching and leadership development. Research shows that thoughtful, open-ended questions promote deeper reflection and insight compared to short, closed questions that can be answered with just a word or two. Psychologist and coaching expert Anthony Grant explains that open questions beginning with "how" and "what" prompt introspection, while questions starting with "why" can seem accusatory (Grant, 2006).
Great coaches understand this research and craft their questions intentionally. They avoid questions with obvious or single "right" answers, instead focusing on queries that help coachees explore their own beliefs, behaviors, and relationships more fully. One study of elite business coaches found they averaged about 70 questions per hour of each session, with 90% being open-ended (Grant & O'Hara, 2006). This strategic use of inquiry helps coachees gain self-awareness and uncover new perspectives on their own.
Some examples of powerful, open-ended questions coaches can use include:
What opportunities do you see for growth in this area?
How might approaching this differently lead to better outcomes?
What assumptions might be influencing your perspective?
What factors are most important for you to consider?
Rather than telling people what to do or think, great coaches allow coachees to work through issues by thoughtfully guiding them with strategic questions. Leaders can apply this approach when developing others on their teams.
Active Listening to Understand Others
While questioning is important, research shows the listening component of coaching may be just as impactful. Effective listening conveys respect and understanding to coachees and helps surface deeper insights. Studies find people remember only 25-50% of what is said in conversation, so active listening skills are crucial (Grant & Zackon, 2004).
Great coaches are laser-focused on truly understanding others rather than just waiting for their turn to speak. They make eye contact, occasionally paraphrase to check comprehension, and avoid interrupting. Neuroscientist Daniel Siegel explains mirror neurons in the brain help people connect through empathy by mimicking others' facial expressions and postures subconsciously (Siegel, 2010). Coaches leverage this by mirroring body language to build rapport.
Some specific active listening techniques coaches can apply include:
Reflecting back the essence of what was said through paraphrasing
Asking gentle follow up questions for clarification
Maintaining an open, interested posture and making eye contact
Mirroring facial expressions and tones where appropriate
For example, when developing direct reports, leaders can carve out distraction-free time and concentrate entirely on understanding each person's unique perspectives and experiences. Truly listening in this way fosters trust and engagement that accelerates growth.
Empathizing on a Human Level
Beyond questioning and listening skills, research finds the most impactful coaches connect with coachees through empathy. Neuroscience shows mirror neurons not only help people mimic others physically, but also experience what they perceive others are feeling (Iacoboni, 2009). Great coaches leverage this by intuitively sensing emotions and validating coachees' humanity.
Empathy was identified as the top competency of elite business coaches in a landmark study (Grant, 2013). These coaches described entering fully into others' situations and experiences on an emotional level without judgment. One coach explained, “When clients feel heard, understood, respected and believed in, magic happens” (Grant, 2013, p. 48).
On a practical level, empathy means acknowledging hardships compassionately through statements like "That must have been really difficult." It involves normalizing struggles to reduce shame through comments such as "Many people experience similar challenges in that situation." Coaches also reflect back underlying feelings they perceive below surface statements to validate emotions.
For leaders, empathizing can build engagement and performance. For example, when an employee is going through personal hardships outside work, leaders convey caring by asking gentle, empathetic questions and offering support rather than just assignments. Validating people's humanity in this way fosters intrinsic motivation and resilience to overcome challenges together.
Applying Coaching Methods in Various Industries
The research-backed methods of asking powerful questions, actively listening to understand others, and connecting through empathy are universally applicable leadership tools. Specific examples demonstrate how these coaching techniques can accelerate growth across industries when developing others.
Healthcare: Nurse managers face stressful conditions and must develop staff while balancing patient care. In post-shift debriefs, they can apply questioning to surface any systemic issues and help nurses reflect on how to handle difficult situations differently. Listening without judgment when nurses share emotional cases fosters connection and reduces burnout. Leaders also convey empathy by acknowledging everyone's commitment to helping patients through challenges together as a team.
Technology: Fast-paced tech companies rely on continuous learning and innovation from employees. During one-on-ones, leaders can prompt engineers to uncover new opportunities with questions like, "Given unlimited resources, how might you take this project further?" Listening actively to understand each person's unique strengths and interests fosters intrinsic motivation. Empathizing with pressures or setbacks through statements like "It's really impressive how much you've already accomplished" bolsters morale.
Education: Principals shape school cultures impacting students daily. In developing teachers, thoughtful inquiry helps surface what most energizes and which subjects could use additional support. Actively listening without an agenda when teachers share frustrations validates hard work. Connecting through empathy by acknowledging shared commitment to all students' well-being, regardless of challenges, fosters resilient collaboration.
As these examples illustrate, questioning, listening, and empathy transcend industries as powerful coaching methods to effectively develop others when applied authentically within leadership roles. Nuanced understanding through these researched techniques unleashes individuals' and teams' greatest potential.
Conclusion
Great coaches understand their most impactful tools are asking thoughtful, open-ended questions to promote reflection; actively listening without judgment to truly understand others' perspectives; and connecting on a human level through empathy. When leaders apply these research-backed coaching methods authentically, it accelerates learning and performance for individuals and teams. From healthcare to technology to education, questioning, listening and empathy skills remain universally applicable in developing others. By crafting powerful inquiries, focusing intently on understanding each person, and conveying care through validated emotions, leaders foster growth, connection and resilience within any industry. Coaching techniques transcend contexts when leveraged purposefully within leadership roles to help others reach their highest abilities and potential. With practice, these simple yet profound methods can transform how leaders develop talent across all organizations.
References
Grant, A. M. (2006). An integrated model of goal-focused coaching: An evidence-based framework for teaching and practice. International Coaching Psychology Review, 1(2), 146-165.
Grant, A. M., & O'Hara, B. (2006, May). Cracking the coaching nut: Relating coaching mindsets and processes. In Academy of Management Proceedings (Vol. 2006, No. 1, pp. B1-B6). Briarcliff Manor, NY 10510: Academy of Management.
Grant, A. M., & Zackon, R. (2004). Executive, workplace and life coaching: Findings from a large-scale survey of International Coach Federation members. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 2(2), 1-15.
Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. Bantam.
Grant, A. M. (2013). The efficacy of coaching. In J. Passmore, D. Peterson, & T. Freire (Eds.), The Wiley-Blackwell handbook of the psychology of coaching and mentoring (pp. 15–39). Chichester: Wiley-Blackwell.
Iacoboni, M. (2009). Imitation, empathy, and mirror neurons. Annual Review of Psychology, 60, 653-670.
Additional Reading
Westover, J. H. (2024). Optimizing Organizations: Reinvention through People, Adapted Mindsets, and the Dynamics of Change. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.3
Westover, J. H. (2024). Reinventing Leadership: People-Centered Strategies for Empowering Organizational Change. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.4
Westover, J. H. (2024). Cultivating Engagement: Mastering Inclusive Leadership, Culture Change, and Data-Informed Decision Making. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.5
Westover, J. H. (2024). Energizing Innovation: Inspiring Peak Performance through Talent, Culture, and Growth. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.6
Westover, J. H. (2024). Championing Performance: Aligning Organizational and Employee Trust, Purpose, and Well-Being. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.7
Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). Workforce Evolution: Strategies for Adapting to Changing Human Capital Needs. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.8
Westover, J. H. (2024). Navigating Change: Keys to Organizational Agility, Innovation, and Impact. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.11
Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). How Great Coaches Ask, Listen, and Empathize: Keys to Effective Leadership Development. Human Capital Leadership Review, 15(2). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.15.2.1
