In the latest HCI Webinar, Dr. Jonathan H. Westover talks with Kenneth Berger about the typical mistakes leaders make when trying to drive change or influence others. Below is a summary of the main points from their conversation! Check out the full episode and let us know what you think!
Watch the episode here:
Quick Recap
Kenneth and Jonathan discussed the common mistakes leaders make when trying to drive change or influence others, emphasizing the importance of taking a stand for one's desires and aspirations despite potential discomfort and uncertainty. They also highlighted the importance of developing influence skills, handling rejection positively, advocating for oneself and one's team, and maintaining authenticity in building relationships.
Leadership Coaching and Change Management
Kenneth and Jonathan discussed the typical mistakes leaders make when trying to drive change or influence others. Kenneth, a coach for startup leaders, shared his experiences and insights from his work in the tech industry. He emphasized the importance of avoiding unnecessary pitfalls and shared his mission to help business leaders minimize their suffering, maximize their impact, and find peace and balance in their lives. The conversation also touched on Kenneth's upcoming book, "Ask for What You Want," which aims to share practical techniques for achieving one's dreams.
Exploring Personal Growth and Leadership
Jonathan and Kenneth discussed their personal backgrounds and motivations for their work. Kenneth shared his passion for addressing the emotional aspects of change and personal growth, which led him to coaching. Jonathan emphasized the importance of finding a better balance in life and the need for a framework to navigate personal and professional changes. They then began to explore common mistakes leaders make, with Kenneth poised to contribute his insights.
Embracing Uncertainty for Personal Growth
Kenneth and Jonathan discussed the importance of taking a stand for one's desires and aspirations, despite the potential discomfort and uncertainty involved. They highlighted the common mistakes of ignoring one's feelings and waiting for a sure thing before making an ask. Kenneth emphasized that the discomfort of not asking for what one wants is often greater than the discomfort of making an uncertain ask. Jonathan agreed, stating that there is potential upside in making changes and that people should not sell themselves short. They concluded that the key is to find the courage to move forward despite the uncertainty, rather than waiting for a sure thing.
Balancing Risk in Career Progression
Jonathan discussed the importance of taking calculated risks in career progression, emphasizing that playing it safe can lead to missed opportunities. He acknowledged that sometimes there are factors like bias or unfairness at play, but stressed that individuals should not solely rely on others to advance their careers. Kenneth agreed with Jonathan's points. Jonathan also advised considering an appropriate level of risk one is willing to tolerate before making a career move.
Developing Influence Skills and Handling Rejection
Jonathan and Kenneth discussed the importance of developing influence skills, particularly in the context of making requests or asking for something. They emphasized that influence is not a natural talent for most people, but rather a skill that can be practiced and honed. They also highlighted the need for authenticity in this process, as people can easily tell when it's not genuine. Furthermore, they stressed the importance of handling rejection or a "no" in a positive and collaborative manner, as it is a natural part of the process and can lead to learning and relationship building.
Handling 'No' Responses With Grace
Jonathan emphasized the importance of not taking personal offense to 'no' responses, as they are inevitable and necessary for growth. He suggested that people should expect to receive 'no's when making requests, and that it's more damaging to react negatively to these responses than to simply accept them. Jonathan also highlighted the importance of maintaining a civil and cordial demeanor when dealing with requests, even if they are not always granted.
Effective Advocacy and Emotional Regulation
Jonathan and Kenneth discussed the importance of advocating for oneself and one's team in a thoughtful and articulate manner. They emphasized the need for emotional regulation and authenticity in building relationships and making requests. Kenneth highlighted the importance of adapting one's approach to suit different cultural contexts and individual personalities. He also stressed the relief of being able to be oneself and not pretending to be someone else. The conversation concluded with Kenneth encouraging the audience to practice asking for what they want and accepting responses with grace.
Listen to the webinar here:
