Listen to this article:
Abstract: This article examines common misguided career advice given to women, and provides research-backed solutions to help them overcome these limitations and thrive. It counters outdated notions that women should temper ambition, avoid negotiating pay, prioritize likeability over competence, and assume having children will derail their careers. Instead, the article emphasizes the importance of women being confident advocates for themselves, leveraging mentorship and organizational policies supporting work-life integration, and prioritizing job performance to achieve their full potential without unnecessary constraints. By replacing self-limiting advice with constructive, evidence-based strategies, the article demonstrates how empowering women's authentic leadership and healthy self-promotion benefits not just individual careers, but organizations and society as a whole.
While progress toward gender equality in the workplace has undoubtedly been made, women continue to face unique challenges in navigating their careers that men do not. Along the way, women are often given advice that, while well-intentioned, can actually hold them back from achieving their full potential.
Today we will delve into some of the most common pieces of bad career advice that women should ignore, backed by research, and provide practical suggestions and examples for how women can overcome these limitations and thrive in their career despite them.
Hold Yourself Back to Avoid Hurting Feelings
One of the most insidious pieces of bad career advice women receive is the idea that they should temper their ambition and hold themselves back to avoid upsetting or threatening others, especially men. However, research shows this type of self-censoring behavior can seriously undermine women's career success and satisfaction. A study from Harvard Business Review analyzed feedback from 360 employees and found women are far less likely than men to toot their own horns about successes and more likely to downplay competencies (Bowles, 2014). While intentions may be good, this type of self-limiting behavior translates to women being less likely to be considered for promotions and recognition. The solution is for women to be confident advocates for themselves while also cultivating strong relationships and promoting teammates. For example, as the head of Product at a software company, Emily openly celebrated team wins but also made a deliberate effort to give credit to others regularly in meetings. This boosted morale and her reputation as a collaborative leader.
Don't Negotiate or Ask for More Money
Another piece of bad career advice often given to women is the idea that they should avoid negotiating salary or asking for more money and perks for fear of being seen as pushy or aggressive. However, research shows this habit costs women dearly over time in terms of lost earning potential and opportunities. A study by Carnegie Mellon found when applying for jobs, women ask for 30% less money on average than men do for the same type of work (Small et al., 2007). The real harm is that early career earning trajectories set the stage for incomes and wealth accumulation over decades. One solution is for women to go into every salary discussion armed with research about fair market value based on their education, experience, responsibilities, and location. Amy, director of marketing at a retail chain, negotiated a 20% raise by benchmarking her role against similar ones online and making the case for how her initiatives had impacted business goals. While negotiations may feel uncomfortable, women who advocate for themselves confidently and professionally see career rewards.
Focus on Likeability Over Success
Women are often warned that emphasizing success over likeability can backfire, but research tells a different story. A study by the IMF found that for every 10% increase in female representation on corporate boards, a company's return on assets goes up by 0.4 percentage points per year (Dwoskin, 2020). While building genuine connections and team success are important, downplaying competence or ambition to seem warmer is counterproductive advice. The solution is for women to stay true to their authentic leadership style, focus first on delivering results, and let competence and character shine through. For example, as CEO of a tech startup, Amanda made it a priority to over-deliver on projects while also celebrating wins for the whole team. This strengthened her reputation as a dedicated leader people genuinely enjoyed working hard for.
Maternal Wall Bias Means Leave Career Goals Behind
Many warn working mothers that having children will inevitably derail their careers due to omnipresent maternal wall bias. However, leading research underscores this doesn't have to be the case if proper supports are in place. A Harvard Business School study examined 90,000 employees and found when controlling for role and experience, mothers are 89% more likely than fathers or childless women to be rated as having less commitment to their jobs (Benard & Correll, 2010). Yet another study found companies that implemented pay equity, maternal leave policies, and support for flexible work saw higher retention and commitment from working mothers (Kossek et al., 2015). The solution lies in establishing robust benefits, normalizing flexibility without stigma, and leaders championing work-life integration as a priority regardless of gender or parental status. For example, as CEO, Joyce implemented a generous paid family leave policy for all and made flexible work arrangements common practice. This inclusive culture helped the company retain top female talent.
Overcome Hesitation with Mentorship and Advocacy
For many women, the instinct to hold back arises from self-doubt bred by systemic gender biases that promote less confidence in their abilities compared to men. However, building strong support networks through mentorship and advocacy can help counter these internalized limitations. Research shows mentors play a key role in sponsoring high-potential women for promotions and opportunities that can propel careers forward (Ragins & Kram, 2007). Mentorship also helps build confidence through sage advice and validation from experienced role models. Dr. Bethany, the director of a major hospital network, credits her ability to overcome imposter syndrome in part to the guidance of senior women physician-mentors who championed her talents. They encouraged her to put herself forward for expansive new leadership roles she may have otherwise hesitated to pursue. Champions like these can help change a culture where women see—and seize—greater chances for advancement and influence.
Constructive Solutions Yield Success
When women thoughtfully examine unhelpful advice through a research-informed lens and replace it with constructive solutions, greater career satisfaction and success are within reach. Rejecting the constraints of old rules does not mean sacrificing thoughtful relationship-building or work-life balance. Rather, it means prioritizing competence, confidence, clear communication, and removing self-imposed limits not supported by facts. With robust support systems, equal opportunity policies and benefits, and champions to promote their abilities, women can achieve their full career aspirations unhindered by outdated biases. Focusing on results, negotiation skills, flexibility without stigma, and strong mentorship networks cultivates environments where all talent thrives.
Conclusion
Authentic leadership and healthy advocacy for oneself and teammates, backed by research-driven solutions, empower women to overcome common career derailers. While progress certainly remains to be made, women who replace bad advice with confidence, competence and collaboration see rewards. With support for work-life integration, maternal talent retention grows. Mentorship counters internalized limitations and sponsors top potential. Negotiation skills close wage gaps. Flexibility and family supports boost commitment. Overall, prioritizing job performance over likeability scores success. Constructive career navigation informed by facts, not fears, allows women's abilities to take center stage unconstrained. When all talent feels unleashed to achieve their full potential, organizations and society benefit.
References
Benard, S., & Correll, S. J. (2010). Normative discrimination and the motherhood penalty. Gender & society, 24(5), 616–646. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243210383142
Bowles, H. R. (2014, June). Why Women Don't Negotiate Their Job Offers. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2014/06/why-women-dont-negotiate-their-job-offers
Dwoskin, E. (2020, July 14). Companies with more women board members are more profitable, research finds. The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/07/14/companies-with-more-women-board-members-are-more-profitable-research-finds/
Kossek, E. E., Ruderman, M. N., Braddy, P. W., & Hannum, K. M. (2012). Work–nonwork boundary management profiles: A person-centered approach. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 81(1), 112–128. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2012.04.003
Ragins, B. R., & Kram, K. E. (Eds.). (2007). The handbook of mentoring at work: Theory, research, and practice. Sage.
Small, D. A., Gelfand, M., Babcock, L., & Gettman, H. (2007). Who Goes to the Bargaining Table? The Influence of Gender and Framing on the Initiation of Negotiation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(4), 600–613. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.93.4.600
Additional References
Westover, J. H. (2024). Optimizing Organizations: Reinvention through People, Adapted Mindsets, and the Dynamics of Change. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.3
Westover, J. H. (2024). Reinventing Leadership: People-Centered Strategies for Empowering Organizational Change. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.4
Westover, J. H. (2024). Cultivating Engagement: Mastering Inclusive Leadership, Culture Change, and Data-Informed Decision Making. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.5
Westover, J. H. (2024). Energizing Innovation: Inspiring Peak Performance through Talent, Culture, and Growth. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.6
Westover, J. H. (2024). Championing Performance: Aligning Organizational and Employee Trust, Purpose, and Well-Being. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.7
Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). Workforce Evolution: Strategies for Adapting to Changing Human Capital Needs. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.8
Westover, J. H. (2024). Navigating Change: Keys to Organizational Agility, Innovation, and Impact. HCI Academic Press. doi.org/10.70175/hclpress.2024.11
Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2025). Bad Career Advice Women Should Ignore. Human Capital Leadership Review, 16(4). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.16.4.1
